its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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