I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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