So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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