Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is the high leading the old right now
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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