My hand turned me down
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
