is your mom at the bar?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
