wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
