Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
