Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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