so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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