You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
