Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
