I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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