Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
