Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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