I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
