; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
