Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
