you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
