I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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