y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
