my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
