is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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