Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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