idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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