so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
