hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
