I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
