help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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