I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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