They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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