He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
