I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
