I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
