you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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