you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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