Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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