In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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