don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
