The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
