Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
