i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
