Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
