wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
