just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
