he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
