Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
