I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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