I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
