Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Drake has all the answers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
