My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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