I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
