is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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