Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
